Posts Tagged ‘kerosenebomb.com’

ACCOMPLISHMENT

September 11, 2008

It would be a relief if I could resign myself

To unproductivity and simply exist

Unburdened by this tiresome need to produce

That has been the cause of so much unpleasantness.

It’s not as if I do anything with my time

And as for most of the people who do accomplish

Anything: one rather wishes they hadn’t bothered either.

Accomplishment, I suspect, is overrated.

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CREATION

September 11, 2008

I have been sitting here

Gritting my teeth in the hot light of day

For what seems a long time

But probably isn’t.

I cannot do what I want to do

And I cannot do anything else.

A lamentable waste, but the absence of this

Emptiness would create an immense yawning void in my life.

A PRELUDE OF SORTS

September 11, 2008

For years I have tarried, secure

In the notion that all this luxuriating

In vicarious decay served some sort of purpose. Until

It became apparent that this extended arid preamble

Had turned terminal, squashing any prospect

Of fecundity. Fading without ever having flourished;

A dream unwinding, grinding

To a standstill.

HOW LITTLE, HOW FAR

September 4, 2008

I have never done less:

I keep saying this

And yet I keep outdoing myself.

One would assume

That one would have to do something

To get from morning to night

But I have proven that this

Is not necessarily the case.

STEPPING OUT

September 3, 2008

Another day lies squandered behind me.

The effluvia of recent useless vacillation

Pollutes my abode and suffocates my higher faculties.

I seek relief from the nausea of my own society

In the outside world.

To reward myself with distraction:

Not for work well done, or done at all

But as relief from tormenting myself over not doing the work…

LXX

September 2, 2008

It was not meant for me to fail.

It doesn’t feel right.  But it is

What I have chosen to undo

With my life, what I have unmade

Of  myself.  It is disturbing that I am prepared

To settle for so little: only promise.  But perhaps

There never really was a time of  promise;  –

I’ve always felt past my prime.